How To Choose A New Mobile Phone
Originally published at This Is This. You can comment here or there.
Like most uncharted subjects, I am finding that the more I discover, the more I have to find out. 3G, smartphones, battery life, Qwerty keyboard, wifi. There's too much to know.
Predictive text, polyphonic ringtones. pixel resolution. And who the fuck is Carl Zeiss?
I decided that I'm probably not going to go for one with a keyboard, since I'm rarely more than twenty feet away from a computer, although add another mile to that and that's when I normally get an idea for a post but that can't be helped.
I want a phone with a camera, so I can take pictures and stick them up here. The blog, pervert. Not here. Like I'd take pictures of me doing that and stick that up here. No - I will not do that. This is the internet, OK? It is not some place where people get their kicks looking at pictures of sexual deviants. Or videos. Or one to one porn chatrooms. No. What are you thinking? This is the internet.
Also, I can't be bothered to learn new things. I'm not getting old - I'm not OK? - It's just that I can't be shat to learn someone else's "intuitive" format. I know plenty of people (saps!) who switched from Nokia to Sony Goran Eriksson only to curse their decision later. Maybe the phones are better designed; I couldn't give a WAP - I'm sticking with what I know.
Nokia it is.
Done.
Network.
Orange - that is what I am on now. OK. Tariff? They have stupid names. Dolphin, Racoon, Monkey, Marmot or Skink? Half cashback for six months on an eighteen month contract or pay fifty quid for the phone on a twelve month deal? Or free phone and an xbox or a Nintendo wii with a standard eighteen month commitment. OK, that could be cool. But does a wii play dvds, or is that just the xbox?
Do I get the phone from work or go to a store which can get a better deal and I have to change my number? This would be a pain.
I do not know, but the longer I wait, the more I am on my crappy current deal and the more it costs me. But the sooner I choose, the more likely I am to make a bad decision.
I have become a phone bore among my friends and colleagues. I see a new phone on their desk and ask to have a look about it, mumble something about battery life and marmosets.
They usually take my picture and then show it to me, and I look at the picture and say "Hmmm - I'm not sure" before wondering off, none the fucking wiser.
Call me.
